one eye behind...one eye before

There's something amusing about looking back over your life and seeing where you have come from. I spent the evening mulling over my scribblings from past years - be that poetry, journal entries (now there was a good laugh!) and stories. I had to shake my head at thoughts that had once entangled my brain, faces that had caused my heart to flutter, and perplexions blown out of proportion - that seem so small and insignificant now.
I hope you enjoy the fragments I have chosen to share with you. Some of them are ANCIENT...so the transition of writing styles is interesting to map out - and yet each represents a leg of the journey through thought, heart and faith. Some cling as a painful reminder that lies in the phrase of history repeating itself...others remain as a testimony of the reality our lives need to endure in the ever-continuing process of refining.

When you feel the shadows, it helps you appreciate the light!

May we remember the pathways we've travelled that have led us to this point in our life - they have made us who we are...but do not resign your life to be held by these memories. Press on! There are so many promising things ahead...and by emptying our hands of the best of the times we've lived so far, we allow God to fill our futures with things that far exceed anything we've experienced before. May God continue to forge a pathway of new beginnings...new lessons...new dreams...

Archived Thought from White Rock - May 2004

I just thought I'd drop you a line to let you in on a small lesson I learned from God today. Admitedly it wasn't the most stellar day of my life - a pile of "stuff" seemed to over-occupy my thoughts and cloud my focus...leaving me in the grumpy part of town...! Anyhow...as I waiting for the Sr.Highs & Co. to arrive at White Rock for our hang out nite, I was allowed to have some coveted quiet time with God on the sunny beach!
As I was sitting there struggling with various thoughts that had been burdening my heart, I was searching for anything I could draw a spiritual parallel to that God might be trying to show me (you know - those cliche pastor stories where they see two seagulls and somehow they relate it back to some theological point to slide into their sermons!!!) And in the frustrating moment of not being able to "see" anything in what was around me, I really felt God impressing upon my heart that today wasn't a day for lessons. It wasn't a day where He wanted to teach me something BIG...today was a day where He just wanted to love me - and to give my weary mind rest.
"Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt.11:28)
..."Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).
He wanted me to lay my worries, my thoughts, my frustrations down, and not try and "make sense of them", but put them on the back burner to share a moment with Him...a moment that didn't deal with spiritual "business"...but the simple pleasure of His company.
It reminded me of a passage dealing with Elijah in the wilderness, where the prophet finds himself frustrated with where things are at...and God reveals himself - not in a mighty wind, an earthquake, or a fire...but in a still small voice. (1 Ki. 19:11...) Sometimes we can get caught up with trying to "make sense" of things, or search for God in "earth-shattering" ways, but God is trying to communicate with us in a whisper...are we listening? Can we hear Him? Are we slowing ourselves down enough to be still - so we can know our God? Are we taking time out from "business" with God, to enjoy His presence?
As we get some time this long weekend, I just wanted to challenge you all to get away with God - and don't just talk about "business"...simply enjoy

Darkness drowns a promised day
Understanding hazes grey
I've lost my footing, fear gives way
I'm falling…

Thoughts weigh heavy on the mind
A wearied heart, no solace finds
Distractions lead the wandering, blind
I'm calling…

And You come -
Not in the torrents of wind's first cry
Nor in the trembles of the earth
Not in the blaze of fire's eye
But in a still small voice...

Be silent...be still...and know
The King of heaven, earth and sea
Be silent...be still...and know
The God of grace, of love, of mercy
Be silent...be still...and know
A weary soul finds rest in Me
Be silent...be still...you'll know.