the morning after

Do you ever have a moment that is so incredible, you hate the thought of crawling into bed and closing your eyes with the fear that it will slip through your fingers and be gone by morning? If only we could hold on to moments forever...live in the adrenaline of that moment forever.
If only...


You see, it's easy to fall in and out of love with the church...
to become disillusioned by her glaring faults
to be first critic to her weaknesses
to be wearied by her call to duty.
It is easy to jump on the bandwagon of human hype
and fall off in the realization you have joined the circus.

But when all the background noise is silenced
and there are no meetings to attend,
no groups to run
no planet to save...
and God becomes the object of affection,
void of all distraction,
it changes things.
When you meet God
- really meet God -
it changes things.
It changes you.

Life on planet earth is one riddled with the pursuit of answers.
Discovering who you are
and what that means
and what you mean
to the season you find existence.
To the people you do life with.
To the God who created you.
My journey has involved searching the depths of my humanity and how that relates to God.
Tangibly.
Realistically.
Relationally.
And God always surprises me.

One of the things that always seems to accompany discovering or rediscovering my heart with God is the fear that it will only last a moment.
That the memory will fade in time.
That I will soon forget what I have seen...
what I have learned.
But one of the songs that stuck out in our worship the other night reminded me that I am not the only one pursuing...

You won't relent
Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

I've always wondered about the morning after the wedding...
what it would feel like waking up beside someone.
Continuing on a journey with someone.


I rolled over in bed this morning, and with a smile realized I was not alone...