Post-Trip Blues...
Well, I have finally reached Canadian soil (and coffee!) and am piecing together in my heart and mind the past 10 days in Mississippi. It's amazing how much the human body can endure and experience. Me sleeping 30 of my first 48 hours back told me I had pretty much hit the breaking point - but in that, realizing that God was giving me a heaping measure of His strength while I was there. I laugh reading my former entry as to what I had been told I would be doing, and seeing what actually transpired! The only word I can give to describe my trip is overwhelming...I really don't know where to begin!
After 24 hours, multiple fast-food, potty and barf breaks (yeah, I even gave the old heave-ho, but not before passing out on some poor sleeping student and leaving her with a bit of a shiner!) we finally arrived in what would be home for our stay in the deep south. Our trip started off with the beatitude "Blessed are the flexible for they shall not snap". In "normal" conditions that would have been a great motto to live by...however, our group tasted the EXTREME side of what it meant to be "flexible" (to the point that it became our camp "f" word that no one was allowed to use!) We had the opportunity of seeing a variety of camps, and sleeping in a variety of itty bitty living spaces. From food tents, to plastic huts to van benches, there was no place that was too obscure for someone to get a little shut-eye! The only thing that kept us grounded was the fact that we would only be here for a week...and most people living there had to face these conditions every day for the past four months!
Our group seemed to be like the island of misfit toys (for those of you Rudolph fans!) Widespread and thrown together, the always changing locations and job descriptions didn't help with our identity crisis. But God had been very purposeful in putting certain leaders and kids in our group - and we really became a family, despite our agitated environment. He knew who could handle Gautier...and has taught my heart so many things thru it - I still can't fully talk about it.
Workwise I was on a different job site every day until I took over the cooking for our camp. Yeah...got sucked into the chef position - mostly because we were getting some pretty funky meals and a lot of our kids weren't adjusting to the southern menu. This required me getting up at...hold your breath...5am every morning to make sure coffee was on. EEPS! How did I ever do it? I am the farthest from a morning person you will ever see...and yet, total God thing, I never slept in - not even once! In fact, I don't think I slept at all! Every nite I would wake up a good 2 or 3 times, not having a watch and ready to hit the kitchen, only to be told by my roommates (bless their hearts) that it was some insane hour in the morning and I could go back to bed.
I had some stellar co-cooks to greet the 5am darkness with a VERY strong cup (or two, or ten!) of coffee. Without them (you know who you are!) I would have gone insane and would have missed out on their constant support, encouragement and sarcastic humour to take the edge off of any irrate customers. (NO Ivan, I am NOT GRUMPY!!!)
New Years Eve was spent with our full group and some extra peeps from Tennessee at Westminster Church. Our worship band got to put on a bit of a "concert" - which included 20 minutes practice prior and a whole lot of prayer. God definitely showed up to ease our nerves and give us a voice (mine was pretty much gone by now!) and we brought in the Ontario New Year in the presence of God. It was an amazing experience - especially given our concert prior to that at a refugee camp that consisted of a kareoke mic!
As a worship team we had been dispersed throughout the work teams for daily duties, and were on call for whenever Mr.K needed a song! We led group devos every morning in the worship leaders tent...who received an army and a half of ants by food items left inadvertantly behind! (No names...) With minimal time to practice, and less than "ideal" conditions, God once again showed His hand in everything as we shared in music ministry...everything flowed!
There was some less than stellar stuff that happened at our camp. For one, 2 girls had $60 stolen from their wallets. Regardless that leaving that kind of money unattended in the tents wasn't the wisest thing to do, God was still in control. Before I had left, someone had "blessed" me with some American money. I knew it wasn't for me personally - I was just a wallet! I had been praying that God would open a door for me to know who it was meant for...and when Sunday morning came with some tears...I just smiled. The amount stolen was the excact amount I had been given. God had provided for them, knowing what would happen, but wanting them to see that He was taking care of their needs - even before they knew they would need it. I have no idea who took the money...but I know that whatever - God will use it to His glory.
As a group we faced some interesting situations in camp life...and I am proud to say, we rose above it. We may not come out of it with a squeaky clean reputation...but God knows, and that's all that matters. I'm going to spare you the details, but in short not all the groups at the camp were as flexible with our highschool group as they could have been...to the point of threats and constant negative commentary. I could defend our group till I was blue in the face, but something God had showed me after being on the receiving end of some of the comments...I wasn't doing it for them. I wasn't serving them. I was serving Jesus! "...if you do it unto the least of these...you do it unto Me." So no, I didn't spit on their sandwiches - however tempting at times!
The last day we were there, I had the opportunity to take Miranda (a fellow leader) and four of the girls to the beachfront of Biloxi. We had a mere 45 minutes to see for ourselves the extent of damage that the community had undergone. Full sections were completely flattened with only foundations remaining. Historical homes completely destroyed. Stairs led up to nothing. Churches were completely gutted and washed away from the inside, save a fragile frame that remained. Hotels and business were collapsed and heaps of rubble. Casinos were washed right into surrounding buildings. Roads were crumpled up like accordians. And the ocean lay calm in the background, denying responsibility. When I have more of an opportunity I will post my pics from my trip...it's surreal to see it in person. You can hardly imagine the damage...and yet it speaks of a need. A broken community crying out for encouragement and hope.
And so as I make the transition back home, I can't help but wonder...what next? What was God's purpose in all this? I look at the relationships that I was able to make during my short stay and know that God has blessed my life through the variety of leaders and students I was able to serve alongside. I can honestly say that I have grown to LOVE and miss my whole team.
While on my trip I found myself to be a little overwhelmed at the things that would keep my days busy. So busy at times that I would sometimes not even find the time to get into God's word. I was telling our team to find quiet time with God, while not exemplifying it myself. He reminded me of a passage in Luke 10 of two sisters. Martha was distracted with serving, while Mary was enjoying sitting at Jesus' feet. We can get distracted with a ton of "good" things, but miss that which is the most important...that which no one can take away. We need to be drawing from our Source, our Strength, our Saviour. Daily communion with God is necessary for flourishing in our faith lives. It may seem insignificant. It may be easily put off till "later". - we can all "get by"! But nothing is as important as spending time with our God. A little more Mary, a little less Martha.
The last thing God really spoke to my heart was the fact that we went down to Mississippi to rebuild homes and communities devestated by a hurricane. But right in our camp, our schools, and our churches are homes that are completely devestated by alcohol, abuse, lying, cheating, broken marriages...the list could go on. The point remains...we need to be active in rebuilding the broken hearts that are in our lives every day. I was amazed to hear some of the kids open up about what they were facing at home. No kid should have to face those kinds of things - especially alone - in a "Christian" community. As we share the love of Jesus with those who are in blatant need of it, let us not forget to ask God to shed light on those right under our very noses who are suffering.
After 24 hours, multiple fast-food, potty and barf breaks (yeah, I even gave the old heave-ho, but not before passing out on some poor sleeping student and leaving her with a bit of a shiner!) we finally arrived in what would be home for our stay in the deep south. Our trip started off with the beatitude "Blessed are the flexible for they shall not snap". In "normal" conditions that would have been a great motto to live by...however, our group tasted the EXTREME side of what it meant to be "flexible" (to the point that it became our camp "f" word that no one was allowed to use!) We had the opportunity of seeing a variety of camps, and sleeping in a variety of itty bitty living spaces. From food tents, to plastic huts to van benches, there was no place that was too obscure for someone to get a little shut-eye! The only thing that kept us grounded was the fact that we would only be here for a week...and most people living there had to face these conditions every day for the past four months!
Our group seemed to be like the island of misfit toys (for those of you Rudolph fans!) Widespread and thrown together, the always changing locations and job descriptions didn't help with our identity crisis. But God had been very purposeful in putting certain leaders and kids in our group - and we really became a family, despite our agitated environment. He knew who could handle Gautier...and has taught my heart so many things thru it - I still can't fully talk about it.
Workwise I was on a different job site every day until I took over the cooking for our camp. Yeah...got sucked into the chef position - mostly because we were getting some pretty funky meals and a lot of our kids weren't adjusting to the southern menu. This required me getting up at...hold your breath...5am every morning to make sure coffee was on. EEPS! How did I ever do it? I am the farthest from a morning person you will ever see...and yet, total God thing, I never slept in - not even once! In fact, I don't think I slept at all! Every nite I would wake up a good 2 or 3 times, not having a watch and ready to hit the kitchen, only to be told by my roommates (bless their hearts) that it was some insane hour in the morning and I could go back to bed.
I had some stellar co-cooks to greet the 5am darkness with a VERY strong cup (or two, or ten!) of coffee. Without them (you know who you are!) I would have gone insane and would have missed out on their constant support, encouragement and sarcastic humour to take the edge off of any irrate customers. (NO Ivan, I am NOT GRUMPY!!!)
New Years Eve was spent with our full group and some extra peeps from Tennessee at Westminster Church. Our worship band got to put on a bit of a "concert" - which included 20 minutes practice prior and a whole lot of prayer. God definitely showed up to ease our nerves and give us a voice (mine was pretty much gone by now!) and we brought in the Ontario New Year in the presence of God. It was an amazing experience - especially given our concert prior to that at a refugee camp that consisted of a kareoke mic!
As a worship team we had been dispersed throughout the work teams for daily duties, and were on call for whenever Mr.K needed a song! We led group devos every morning in the worship leaders tent...who received an army and a half of ants by food items left inadvertantly behind! (No names...) With minimal time to practice, and less than "ideal" conditions, God once again showed His hand in everything as we shared in music ministry...everything flowed!
There was some less than stellar stuff that happened at our camp. For one, 2 girls had $60 stolen from their wallets. Regardless that leaving that kind of money unattended in the tents wasn't the wisest thing to do, God was still in control. Before I had left, someone had "blessed" me with some American money. I knew it wasn't for me personally - I was just a wallet! I had been praying that God would open a door for me to know who it was meant for...and when Sunday morning came with some tears...I just smiled. The amount stolen was the excact amount I had been given. God had provided for them, knowing what would happen, but wanting them to see that He was taking care of their needs - even before they knew they would need it. I have no idea who took the money...but I know that whatever - God will use it to His glory.
As a group we faced some interesting situations in camp life...and I am proud to say, we rose above it. We may not come out of it with a squeaky clean reputation...but God knows, and that's all that matters. I'm going to spare you the details, but in short not all the groups at the camp were as flexible with our highschool group as they could have been...to the point of threats and constant negative commentary. I could defend our group till I was blue in the face, but something God had showed me after being on the receiving end of some of the comments...I wasn't doing it for them. I wasn't serving them. I was serving Jesus! "...if you do it unto the least of these...you do it unto Me." So no, I didn't spit on their sandwiches - however tempting at times!
The last day we were there, I had the opportunity to take Miranda (a fellow leader) and four of the girls to the beachfront of Biloxi. We had a mere 45 minutes to see for ourselves the extent of damage that the community had undergone. Full sections were completely flattened with only foundations remaining. Historical homes completely destroyed. Stairs led up to nothing. Churches were completely gutted and washed away from the inside, save a fragile frame that remained. Hotels and business were collapsed and heaps of rubble. Casinos were washed right into surrounding buildings. Roads were crumpled up like accordians. And the ocean lay calm in the background, denying responsibility. When I have more of an opportunity I will post my pics from my trip...it's surreal to see it in person. You can hardly imagine the damage...and yet it speaks of a need. A broken community crying out for encouragement and hope.
And so as I make the transition back home, I can't help but wonder...what next? What was God's purpose in all this? I look at the relationships that I was able to make during my short stay and know that God has blessed my life through the variety of leaders and students I was able to serve alongside. I can honestly say that I have grown to LOVE and miss my whole team.
While on my trip I found myself to be a little overwhelmed at the things that would keep my days busy. So busy at times that I would sometimes not even find the time to get into God's word. I was telling our team to find quiet time with God, while not exemplifying it myself. He reminded me of a passage in Luke 10 of two sisters. Martha was distracted with serving, while Mary was enjoying sitting at Jesus' feet. We can get distracted with a ton of "good" things, but miss that which is the most important...that which no one can take away. We need to be drawing from our Source, our Strength, our Saviour. Daily communion with God is necessary for flourishing in our faith lives. It may seem insignificant. It may be easily put off till "later". - we can all "get by"! But nothing is as important as spending time with our God. A little more Mary, a little less Martha.
The last thing God really spoke to my heart was the fact that we went down to Mississippi to rebuild homes and communities devestated by a hurricane. But right in our camp, our schools, and our churches are homes that are completely devestated by alcohol, abuse, lying, cheating, broken marriages...the list could go on. The point remains...we need to be active in rebuilding the broken hearts that are in our lives every day. I was amazed to hear some of the kids open up about what they were facing at home. No kid should have to face those kinds of things - especially alone - in a "Christian" community. As we share the love of Jesus with those who are in blatant need of it, let us not forget to ask God to shed light on those right under our very noses who are suffering.
posted by The Bean Bag Chair at 9:42 AM
1 Comments:
my dearest anne, you are a constant encouragement, thank you for sharing your hardships and your rejoicings. thank you for being willing to follow the King wherever he leads you. I love you my dear.
Post a Comment
<< Home