glimmers...

There is nothing colder than darkness.
Nothing more final than death.
And it is in the realm of life where one loses hope, that a hollowing pain empties our beings of any warmth...and something inside us dies and is buried.
Dreams.
Desires.
Expectations.
Anticipations.
Relationships.
Healing.
Loved ones.

The loss of hope brings a level of devestation into a life that can be irrepairable. A couple weeks ago I was in the prayer room @ our church journalling. In these raw, honest moments with God - I could feel I was losing hope. Getting frustrated with reality. Having a hard time seeing the future. Finding it hard to stand. Time seemed to be shortening. The darkness was getting colder.
And in this moment God directed my eyes to the photographs on the mantle. The one that held my family photo had a verse from Isaiah below it:

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength...

I'd heard the verse a million times before, but in that moment it struck something within me. God was reminding me to hold onto my hope...clenched fists, vice-gripped, white knuckled.
Why is it so important that we hold onto hope - in the midst of seeming unanswered prayers, struggles, weariness?
Because our "faith is the substance of things hoped for..." Our hopes are evidence of our faith in God. Our faith in His healing. His provision. His timing. His perfect plan. When we become hopeless, it is often a sign that we have taken our eyes off Jesus and started looking at the waves roaring around us. It is no time before we, like Peter, start sinking into darkness...

We can rejoice, too,
when we run into problems and trials,
for we know that they help us develop endurance.
And endurance develops strength of character,
and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.
And this hope will not lead to disappointment.
For we know how dearly God loves us,
because he has given us the Holy Spirit
to fill our hearts with his love.

Part of this journey in life is learning endurance...developing character. Being reminded that God's love NEVER fails. If everything came instantly (as we have been conditioned to expect), these fundamentals would be rooted in the shallowness of our lives, and we wouldn't grow or become strong individuals.
I ask you this...at the end of the day, has God ever disappointed you? Has He ever NOT turned something to good in the end? Has He ever not loved you? Not answered? Not given you His best (even if it takes a different face then what you had wanted?

It didn't take God long to show me how quickly things could change...
in a moment...at the right time...the right place...
And with a gentle reminder I could hear Him encouraging me from the sidelines:
"...just hold on a little while longer...you're almost there!"